


As Much As I Want to Say That I Love You

by soxocaroal



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Crime Fighting, Crimes & Criminals, Curses, Drug Dealing, Fluff, Light Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Other, Sweet/Hot, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20188042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soxocaroal/pseuds/soxocaroal
Summary: Dealing with drugs and guns weren't a problematic shit for two of them. But as a person who involve in their own organisations and until their secrets were spilled between them. This love-hate relationship... Is that what they're now?





	As Much As I Want to Say That I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh, I don't have any idea on what should I put on the notes but... anyway, I could say that this FF may include a strong feeling (If I could deliver it through my writing successfully, which I hope I does). Don't worry, the angst wasn't that heavy. and Eng isn't my first language so yeah, Thanks beta. Also, thanks guys!

A pen twirling in a round motion between his index and middle dainty fingers, on his left hand which resting on his desk, right beside the papers and all the common school stuffs. While his other finger push the center of his glasses to the upwards, making the white glasses frame place properly against his nose bridge. Sometimes he tap the pen bottom, then nibbling with it while his eyes fixated on his brainstorming work-

Or at least that's what baekhyun was trying to do for the past two hours. Their teacher was absent due to her sudden childbirth. It was absolutely a good news for the class except for the extra maths practice that she left to do during her class period. So that's what brought baekhyun here, sitting on his seat and struggling with the work like a valedictorian. He thanks to himself that at least he didn't wear a round thick black frame or else, he might look like a fucking sick nerd.

He knows that only a few of them who actually doing the work, including him. Annoyed, he ruffle his hair and took a deep breath before continuing with the calculation again. Because who the hell is using sinus and cosinus in calculating candies that he would buy at shops? Well, no one.

The calculation steps were such a pain in the ass for him but baekhyun knows, after all, things that distract him the most wasn't the mathematical theories or even the pen hook that accidentally broke by his teeth, for the fifth time.

In fact it were the noises that came from the left-center of the class. 

Baekhyun who sit at the far corner was being thankful to have a better view of the whole room, as he doesn't sure if people caught him taking a slight glance on the noises source in between looking at his work papers. There sit a new student, with obvious broad shoulders that were hidden behind the cream uniform. He has a mouthwatering views of biceps, most probably were a result from working out. Baekhyun could tell that he's tall, far from the average height of their 18 age when his torso is higher than the backrest, compared to the other male in his class. Not to mention his oh-so-hot pushed back blond hair with the clean undercut and showing his sticking ears.

Baekhyun shakes his thought, no-no, that's just what he heard from people around.

If only not because of some of his classmates, be it's male or female gathering at his seat and throwing numerous question to the new student. It would be a peace of silence for baekhyun. But from afar, if he's a cat, baekhyun's ears must be obviously fidgeting throughout the time.

He could catches a guy asking him about the out-standing hair colour for a high school student. The new student answered them with a simple shrugged while stating that his school wasn't too strict when it comes to students looks. Baekhyun was temporary amazed cause is that kind of school even exist in Korea? 

"Hey"

Baekhyun snapped his head from the papers, looking at the male students who sat in front of him. He blinks and not forgetting to fix his glass again. 

"Sorry man, didn't mean to suprises you but, could you lend me your yesterday's note?" He pointed his pen towards himself, giving a best sheepish smile for him. "Kinda having some shitty issues last night"

Baekhyun replied his smile back, before bringing his head down to check in his desk drawer. He pass the notebook afterwards. "Here"

"Thanks. Uh, do you actually don't mind? I might use this until tomorrow" Baekhyun notice that his classmate wearing a guilty expression unsincerely, so he could only grin outside.

"Nah, it's fine. I've done the whole second chapter anyway" 

The other man flips his notebook, automatically forming an 'O', eyes flicking from baekhyun to the pages back and forth. "Wow, the whole? No wonder you got to always perform in the year-end result"

Baekhyun wave his hand, showing his denial on the praise. His strands of hairs bouncing in the mid process of him shaking his head- Though, the other man was comparing himself with him, claiming that Baekhyun looks so effortless to achieve a high score while he need to put extra hard work for a better place. Baekhyun doesn't admit it fully, because he's only a boy on third place and definitely someone who's on first and second is way clever than him. 

Everyone in the school seems admiring his achievement- receiving the year-end school for a high pointer in all subjects, he never miss a single compliment from his teacher and friends as well, and somehow being one of the attention every time they're given the exam paper. 

Baekhyun just nodded to satisfy them, besides, it goes along with his plan so well.

As his classmate turned around, baekhyun hold his pen again in attempt to do his work but a sudden feel of stirs in his lung suddenly stop him. His eyes widen, lowering his head, before he chugged down some water hurriedly. Baekhyun tap his chest twice, swallowing the uncomfortable feeling burning inside his skin. His head were feel with mentally cursed, but fucked that. Baekhyun was too lazy to even give a damn about things that he suppose to hold back.

He glance at the wall clock- Great, the class is about to end. His inner relief shouting in his mind.

So baekhyun carefully backed away his chair, trying to make less sounds to not attract people attention to him. He walks away nonchalantly, hands being kept in both of pockets while head hanging slightly low, staring with a certain degrees. Until he could feel he finally step outside of the class and shutting the door behind, 

Baekhyun sighes finally raising his head, letting his two feet bringing him to the usual, familiar route.

Without him knowing, a pair of eyes was already following him on.

Light spreading of smokes starting to float in the air, with several lines combined with a round form. The grey smelly gasses coloured the orange gradient of the sky, contrasting the beauty of it from his point of view; the gradient giving off a playful view, making it even better with the mix of light blue and gold yellow, while the grey colours were so addictive and dull, yet enjoyable for someone like him.

Only if he could goes with one similarity; soothing. It calmed his sight, and the burning uncomfortable feelings inside his lung which is waiting for some nicotine to satisfy it down. Sometimes he coughs a bit, because holding the crave for weeks wasn't an easy task to maintain. 

Baekhyun supported his weight with a hand on the rusty window's sill. He recalled when the first time he found the abandoned old classroom, at the corner and far from the main school building. Maybe because god gave him a luck that he met a metal pipe, so Baekhyun use it so damn well— Broke the slide window and all the parts of side casings, until the wall was left with a large bare hole, as if it was cause by an earthquake. Though, his hair were sweaty as it trailed down, wetting his upper torso so much. But once he glanced outside, the breathtaking scenery of Yeosu managed to softened up his heart even just for a moment— Lined by mountains, Yeosu is surrounded by island and cliffs that look spectacular. As it is a port city, there are also high buldings and houses which makes baekhyun sure that it's gonna look good at night.

He let the cigarette butt fall from his finger down to the ground. Until it become smaller from the view of the fifth floor, he pulls out a stick before tucking it between his two lips. Once it lighted, baekhyun take a short drag. He let out the smoke blown on its own, out of his parted lips. 

The sun started to set down right behind a mountain, barely hide by a standing long bridge. Baekhyun was about to appreciate the another rare moment, which might be temporary, or he don't know on how many times he would experience this again. His life was full of suprise as he doesn't know what tomorrow would come. 

But it was slightly cut off when a rustle sound can be heard at the back of himself. Baekhyun didn't bothered to turn around, because those big steps, the stamping feet, the sounds of clicking heels on the rotten floor were enough evidences to know that he's here. It taking over the whole atmosphere, once the door was squeaking behind.

Not after a long wait, a pair of sturdy arms snaking his waist from behind. Broader chest pressed against his back, and a chin tucked neatly on one of his shoulder. A muscled arm then slowly being raised above, before a hand, familiar fingers take the cigarette from his lips until he discern that the other man take a long drag from it. 

He could feel the head was shifted a bit, but he wasn't expect that he tilt his face and a soft parted lips were pressed against his side neck. It sends shivers down to his spine. The smokes were freed by their own, against his skin, yes. It was warm, but not too hot. The action was kind of rough, but the pressed lips were not too coarse. 

His fist dirtied by the shattered piece of bricks, but he couldn't mind. When his jaw was obviously tightened. "Fuck off, Park. I don't have spare time with your tease"

The warm breath now replaced with low chuckled. Baekhyun couldn't see it, but he know that there's a proud smirk plastered on the face. 

"Neither am I, Byun" A deep voice ringing inside his ears.

He tried to hold his eyes onto the sunset, it was mesmerizing. Baekhyun was suppose to enjoy the scenery as much as he can but now, it only being ruined. Especially when the man called 'Park' has his palm sliding from his clothed abs, up to his chest. An index finger nonchalantly hooked against his necktie, loosening it by pulling down purposely slow. The nuzzling face against the crook of his neck was not even better.

"Classroom sex sounds pretty nice, hmm?" The deep voice come again, with now a level lower than usual. He gritted his teeth— baekhyun could feel that it would break. "We never tried before. Why don't you and I, like, have it now?"

Until he feels two fingers unbuttoning his first two button. That's it, baekhyun loses his shit.

He quickened his move, exchanging their position with the taller man back was exposed against the large hole. He didn't give two fucks if it's dangerous or not. With a harsh clenched fist of the man's uniform collar, he slightly tugged the taller, threatening to push him outside of the hole. 

He could just kill him with a bare hand, right here, right now. He partially wants to, but he can't. More like he didn't want to, or even the idea of it was enough to make his chest thumping like crazy. No. this man in front of him shouldn't be die, this Park Chanyeol who was so close with him should alive until God decided that the world come to its end. As long as he still breathing, baekhyun knows that the man should breathing the same air as him too. 

He pulled harshly with the collar and bended slightly to match their height. Baekhyun couldn't care less if their faces were too close of his own comfort. He knows that Chanyeol wasn't too dumb to let himself killed by him; the taller support his weight by holding the remained window sill. 

"Listen, fucker" Baekhyun voice came from his gritted teeth. His eyes blazing, as if it could burn hole onto the other's eyes "Yeah you damn right. We don't have much time so now, kindly please leave this school along with your pretty shit. I ain't playing with your two fake faces and you, fucker, do aware of it"

Chanyeol smirk. The threat was obviously will never make sense whenever it comes to him. His hand was dismissed by him, before he straightened his posture. The taller suck the short cigarette until he satisfied, before throwing it on the floor and step on the cigarette butt. His previous smirk now was replace with a cold expression, brows were hanging upward. Baekhyun couldn't interpret the sudden emotion, it looks like a mockery but as well, it was an expression that full with inquiries. 

"One of my shit now is to deal with your 'playing dumb'. Then no choice but to drag you along outside of this building" 

Baekhyun's eyes trailing from where he tucked his hands inside of the pockets, to Chanyeol who standing in front of him. Seeing the face after a long three years, baekhyun doesn't know what bring his step closer to the said man. He take a closer look because yeah, Chanyeol looks way bigger and matured than what he remembers before. The Chanyeol before looks tall, still, but not as built as how he is now. The man standing before him was even more manlier, not to mention the several tattoos on his arms created a intimidated look on him. 

Baekhyun mentally cursed himself because this is not delusional. This is real. After all of the empty years, now Chanyeol was here, close to him, and even touched him in the first day of him as a new student. He swear that they meet several time before around Yeosu but not as official as this. It gave him a wave of feelings that happiness would come but would take much time, because he believe— the risk was too much to describe by words. 

He don't want to deny that he miss Chanyeol so much. Heck, he couldn't even deny over it. He brave himself to bring his hand, cupping the left cheek of the taller and carressing his fingers there for a while. He noticed that the cheekbones were become visible, disappearing the chubby cheeks baekhyun use to pinch before. 

He raised his eyes from his hand until he meet with Chanyeol's. He saw it quivering slightly, finding the means and words hidden behind baekhyun's pupils. Those eyes which use to only look at him, admiring him, were now being replace with much more than that. If only fate doesn't bring them together at the first place, if only they don't know each other's secret, if only things would get better from there on. He could own the soul in those eyes, everyday.

Baekhyun snapped his mind after he realizes that the atmosphere is getting heavier. He pulled off his hand. Pulling off a mockery smirk directly onto him. He jab a finger onto the chest multiple time. "For a money fucker like you, I won't fall for your trap for the second time. Agreeing with a shitty dealer on the west was stupid enough to give me a brain-ache"

Baekhyun counting with his finger, only stopping it until it reach the ninth one. Grinning, he show it to him while sticking out his tounge. "I have nine heads to chop off tonight. Wish me luck, honey"

With that words, the taller forcefully clenched the front shirt of baekhyun and pushing him, reaching the nearby wall and slammed him against the board. It makes baekhyun hiss in pain, if not because of the safe material, he swear the man could break his backbone at anytime. Despite the pain at whole part of his back, he locked his eyes with chanyeol's who towering over him. There's fire in both of their eyes. Scream anger and annoyance. Chanyeol hit him against the board for another two times, creating loud thuds. 

Maybe because of the whole situation right now, making chanyeol easily shift to a mad dog like this or it just, simply, baekhyun has no idea. He didn't expect to call Chanyeol with their nickname after those three years. Baekhyun knows it's mean a lot, it's mean a lot to the taller that making him instantly furious. 

"I don't give a fuck to those million guys that you'll kill 'cause If no one tell you this, babe. Keep in mind that those hundred of missing soul couldn't affects the Davis at all" Chanyeol slammed his palm on the other side of his face. Not to his suprises, the taller pulled a knife out of his back pocket and stab immediately into the board. It digged right beside his left ear. That nickname was still ringing in his head. "I could kill you right here, in a second, with a single knife and without your dwarfs, shithead. I could just mess with this defenseless top student that everyone adore-"

Baekhyun trying to find his words, to say that he's not defenseless and he's not a top student that everyone should adore. He knows that Chanyeol knows a lot, about him— having a good fighting skill, dealing with guns for years and all. The top students title he gained was put for just an act. With a purpose to blind people eyes and to receive people's trust on him. While only both of them aware that his hands were used to mudered mans which mostly bigger than him, from the Davis, to be exact. It were coated with different type of blood. His clothes were stained with splattered red liquid. 

He wants to say it all. He wants to quench his curiosity on why Chanyeol has leaved for three years. He wants to ask Chanyeol where did he go before, what did he do exactly, what his favorite food right now, what did those tattoos means for him? 

He wants to tell everything he did, about the recent new games that he suddenly put an interest into. About how hard to keep up with the school society shit. However, for this time, all he want to do is to hear what one of the Davis member wants to say to him.

But on top of all, he wants to ask Chanyeol if he's well... If he do well or not... He wants to ask so bad. 

But everything were left-hanging in his throat.

Then a hand grabbing his collar again. Baekhyun saw the frowned in front of him slowly disappear, but the tighten jaw was still there. He realize that the face move closer to his, before chanyeol lowered down and captured those lips with his own. The soft lips was lingering there for a short moment before he nibbles baekhyun's lower lips. It mould together like a missing piece. It was short, platonic kiss when chanyeol disconnect their lips, pulling slightly away. Baekhyun couldn't even process on what is actually happened, he couldn't even identify which warm breath was it belong to. 

Baekhyun confuse as to what this kiss would lead to or what does it means behind, until he could saw Chanyeol smirk against closely to his before gritting his teeth, turning into a serious expression. With a said word of-

"cause you know that I fucking despise you so much, Byun" 

Perhaps Baekhyun knows what it's suppose to mean.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments mean a lot to me. (Don't forget to kudos~)


End file.
